I have been traveling and on a few fly fishing adventures throughout the west the past couple of weeks. After returning home I went straight to my home group to catch a noon meeting. 5 minutes until noon, about to pee my pants and eager to be amongst my tribe I stand solo in front of a locked door, trying not to pass judgment and not succeeding. 3 more minutes pass and I’m doing the pee-pee dance. Finally, a new face, with a key in hand, walks toward the door and unlocks it. I bolt to the restroom.
The meeting has commenced upon my return. The topic: to share our experience, strength, and hope while staying sober… no matter what. Patiently waiting to share, the moment arrived. Boy did I want to share. I had walked through a situation on my journey and was pleased with the tools used and the outcome in general. Pain shared is pain lessoned and speaking from my experience with a solution to boot is such a gift.
Until, you add an overactive, ADHD, hyper brain into said situation who hasn’t been in a meeting for 10 days. Trying to share and get to the point in 3 minutes wasn’t so successful. The chairperson whom I was already annoyed with cut me off. ‘Oh hell no’ I think. Clearly this person doesn’t know who I am or how I work. It’s hard for me to stay focused and get out what I need/want on a normal day in 3 minutes much less 10 days sans a meeting. Guess who got her feelings hurt and left the meeting? Yup, this girl. Guess who was the only person that was effected by that? Yup, you guessed it, ME! Leaving that meeting was about as successful as when I drank and used AT people. I’m certain that meeting went on just fine without me. Another reminder to myself that all the time in the world doesn’t mean didly. This pickle will never be a cucumber again and my diseased brain without utilizing and practicing principles will win. Just for today, I shall do my best to try and remain humble and right sized.