It’s fall here in Wyoming and between the snow capped mountains and the leaves on the ground there is not much green grass. [Read more…]
“Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.” – Nelson Mandela
How many hours, days, weeks, months, even years, yes years have I squandered away carrying resentments? I am embarrassed to even guess. Often in my active addiction I would drink or use AT people. That wasn’t very effective. [Read more…]
A friend of mine shared a meme which read,
“Dear God, I want to take a minute not to ask for anything from you, but to simply say, Thank you for all I have.” [Read more…]
Hi! My name is Clairey and I’m a grateful recovering alcoholic! Today I would like our topic to be gratitude. [Read more…]
One of the greatest gifts I’ve received in recovery is my awareness. I sat down this morning to write and everything I thought of was grouchy and negative. [Read more…]
Hello all! I was given this amazing opportunity to write to my fellow alumni and I thought I’d start off by telling you a bit about myself. I’m an addict/alcoholic and my problem is Clairey! Ouch the truth hurts sometimes. Fortunately today I have a solution for “that problem”. Actually I have a huge tool box full of solutions and as long as I stay humble, honest and willing, and remain teachable just for today I no longer have to live in the problem. What a blessing!
That blessing started for me in October of 2007 when I drove across country, high as a kite on cocaine and drinking whiskey, back to my home state of SC. I admitted to my parents at 32 years of age that I had a problem and I needed help. After some research and a few phone calls to friends and treatment centers I drove myself to Mill Springs, NC and checked myself into the Pavillon. That November 7th for the next 6 weeks and then 3 months of Pavillon IOPT changed my life forever. It set a strong and beautiful foundation for my new life.
Today, I’m back in Jackson Hole, Wyoming and almost 40 years old! Practicing the principles still…to the best of my ability. I chair meetings when I can, sponsor, and have a sponsor, work and live the 12 steps, pray, meditate, write a recovery based blog entitled, High on Hugs, when I’m inspired, and jump at every opportunity to be of service. My husband is in the program and we have a 3 year old son who’s grown up in the rooms. Our parenting style is based on the principles and traditions of 12 step groups. I owe my entire world today to my foundation at the Pavillon and my ongoing active participation in my recovery program. I am living beyond my wildest dreams and have long since surpassed “The Promises” that seemed completely unrealistic when I started this path.
Recovery is me today. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a productive member of society as well. At least in my own mind! Had it not be for me living this life in recovery one day at a time…I’d have no life much less be productive at dang near anything. Today my life is filled with grace, amazing moments of serenity, awareness, courage to face fear and find solutions. I am blessed. Life on life’s terms still happens. Bad things, sad things, and uncomfortable feelings are still a part of life but today I have a solution. Drinking or using is no longer my only option and I know without a shadow of a doubt that option won’t “fix” a thing. Life didn’t suddenly just get filled with rainbows and unicorns and chocolate sundaes with cherries on top when I got clean/sober. It didn’t just “Get better”. But you know what? I’ve gotten better and I continue to do so as long as I keep one foot in front of the other and do the next indicated right thing. Today I have a higher power and I ask that power to guide me. When I forget to do so, it doesn’t take near as long to realize, “whoop-see, you’re trying to drive the bus again Clairey!” and turn it over again. I am by no means perfect, I still have character defects and I am NOT afraid to use them. I also have a T-shirt that says that! I am one drink, one toke, one snort away from being right back to where I left off at, so today instead of ‘keep coming back”…I think I’ll just stay. I’ve witnessed and been a part of too many miracles to figure out which one it is they speak of when saying, “Don’t leave before the miracle happens”.
So with that and in a nut shell, I’m Clairey and I look forward to writing and connecting with you on this ever evolving journey we call recovery!
“Life will take on new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends-this is an experience you must not miss. We know you will not want to miss it. Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives.”
Last night while reading my new favorite blogger’s, Maggie Shores, most recent post I was completely inspired. I started to comment on it and could not stop typing! So with her permission I’d like to share with y’all her post and my answer to her question. Maggie and I have a lot in common and of course share a passion for recovery and giving away what has so freely been given to us. I hope you find her share as enlightening as I. I bet you will ;0)
You can follow Maggie at http://sobercourage.com/
Here is her post…
I moved to Jackson Hole, Wyoming in my late teens and continued on the path of drinking and drugging and trying to ‘fit in’. I then moved to Key West, Florida briefly until the partying got bad and figured i better go back to JH where the mountains called my name. 4 years after returning I realized I had a problem around the age of 27 and decided to move to Steamboat Springs. Are you seeing a pattern here? Dang it, wherever I went, there I was!
I know it’s not typically the norm but I actually like my in-laws, truthfully I love them! Lord knows I’m far from the norm and I lovingly call them my out laws cause they are kinda crazy.
It’s Mama G’s birthday today so of course I sang to her. I asked if she had seen my blog yet. She said yes but I’m not sure if I can read it as it’s so raw! I giggled and asked why? She then proceeded to tell me that our relationship was so light-hearted and as not being in recovery some things would make her worry!
Mind you her son and my husband is in recovery too so this is nothing new to her. Now that I’m a mom though I get it. It’s nice to be loved and worried about in a good way. It’s nice to communicate openly with the ones we love and understand that they don’t understand.
I reassured her that my lingo was typical recovery stuff and not to worry. But… She’s a mom and she will anyway! Based on her experience she has plenty of reason too as well ;0)
The gift for me today is I have nothing to hide. I figure if you knew me then when I was out running and gunning it was no big secret I had a problem so clearly something is different and why not share my solution?!
I’m not ashamed of my past today. I’ve made amends for my wrongs and continue to clear away the wreckage of my past. My past IS my greatest asset! I can’t keep what I have unless I give it away. So here I am stripped of any secrets and sharing with you who I am today because of who I was yesterday. I am grateful. I’m grateful that even my in-laws love me and yes I them. I’m grateful my own family loves me! I’m grateful that not only do they all love me but that I have a new adoptive and (quite dysfunctional family I might add) in the program who loves me and has my back as I have theirs.
They might not all like me but I know without a shadow of a doubt that if my recovery was in danger they too would be there for me. What a gift the life I have today. Excited to go on a road trip to see all my out-laws for Thanksgiving. Hoping Mama G made my son something awesome to wear. She makes super cute kids clothes and I feel blessed yet again that I have such a neat family.
Check her unique handcrafted kids clothes out at http://www.smallfriesdesigns.com
Headed into the deep woods in Northern Idaho for my husband’s birthday Thanksgiving & to celebrate his 7th anniversary in recovery! So until we return to cell, internet and any other technology have a great holiday!
And if you’re not in the USA, like myself I don’t need a designated day to be Thankful even in the toughest of moments I can find some gratitude! Gobble, Gobble!