- The Tetons and Jackson Lake
- 5/14
Hello all,
I’ve not written in some time. I can’t believe I actually thought my life would be boring without drinking and using! That being said, I’ve been soaking up the sun, finally, here in Wyoming. I’ve been busy enjoying life, trying to go to more meetings, loving my 2-year-old son, loving my husband, working with sponsees, calling my sponsor, and trying to balance it all!
Feeling as if I’ve unwillingly put my blog on hold I thought, “Why not include some different perspectives on life in recovery?”
So…I did one of the things I’ve learned to do in recovery… I ASKED FOR HELP!
I’d like to introduce you to my friend, Ashley B. She and my husband actually went to school together and used together in Washington (state). Ashley even pierced his ears when they were teenagers. I met Ashley on a road trip to Washington, prior to marrying my now husband. He was showing me all the places he had lived and played growing up. In the truck while driving we stopped to look at a house. Lo & behold he gets out as this gal is walking from behind the house. It was Ashley! She just happened to be at her folks house doing some gardening! After introductions and after her and Cody played catch up we arrived at the fact that we were all in recovery! She and I instantly bonded. The god shots, multiple visits from them, phone calls, and a deep understanding between two women and their families can not be described by anything but maybe MIRACULOUS. And again, I thought my life was going to be over after getting sober! It had only just begun.
I am truly blessed in so many ways. The following is written by one of these blessings, a friend, and partner in recovery, Ashley Bell.
I love you Ashley. Thank you for your willingness to write a blog for us & not only talking the talk… but walking, hiking, singing, and living it as well.
You have what I want…..-
- The Bell’s and Us-Labor Day 2010
When I first arrived they had me under watch because they were afraid I would ‘off’ myself in the shower. By the end they were putting bad kids in my room because I caught the buzz, to be had here in the rooms, as a result of the steps. Result of the prayer I prayed at the beginning, I think so. Fast forward, many 4th steps, step 9’s and endless hours on the phone with my people and I’m in the car in Yellowstone National park and from the back seat comes my 4 year olds voice, “pray about difficulties”.God, I offer myself to Thee, to
Build with me and to do with my as Thou wilt.
Relieve me of the bondage of self,
That I may better do Thy will.
Take away my difficulties,
That victory over them may bear witness to
Those I would help of Thy power,
Thy love, and Thy way of life.
May I do thy will always!”(BB page 63)
My husband, who is also sober, and I start deciphering what that means. Asking many questions my husband realizes he’s talking about the 3rd step prayer. “Take away my difficulties”. You see my husband and I had been praying that prayer every morning in the car on our way to the adventure of the day all week we were on vacation and many times before that. We had no idea he was listening.
Raising kids sober is about as real as it gets. This is the time in my life I have had to work the hardest on my program out side of meetings. I don’t get to as many as I want to, I don’t go to as many functions as I used to and I don’t remember to do my daily inventory as much as I could. What do I get in exchange? I get the spiritual assignment of raising another human being while I stay clean and sober.
My victories over my difficulties are shown every day when I make a mistake. I get to own up to them in front of these little people who watch my every move and demonstrate what true humility is. And also what true happiness is. I don’t have to pretend things are not happening.I don’t have lie to them. I answer their questions honestly and treat them with the respect they deserve.
The third step prayer started me off to a pretty good start, kept me sober from that day to this, connected my husband and I on more than one occasion, and has now brought our son into the realm of a solution greater than himself. He has asked us to pray for him many times over the last 4 years, at least since he’s been able to talk. This was the first time he’s used our tools directly. What a gift to raise a family in a home based on the 12 steps and 12 traditions.
That day I prayed this prayer for the first time all I wanted was the pain to stop. I had no idea what was waiting for me down the road. If I got what I deserve I would be dead. If I got what I wanted I would have sold myself short. Today I have a life that is filled with relentless service, but as they say you have to give it away to keep it right?
- The Bell’s
What a gift you have with words Ashley Bell!! You are
A-MAZING! Thank you for your inspiring words! I feel blessed to have you as a friend on this journey. L&H
She is amazing huh? Glad you liked it! Please help me encourage her to write more often on my blog!
Thx,
Clairey
Thanks Jenny. I truly am blessed to have you in my life too.
Beautifu! So awesome to see and read about families in recovery and living the 12 step principles in everyday life. It is truly amazing. If I wasn’t also living it, I would not believe it.
My son found a box with all my chips in it the other day, oh did we have fun with those! – That is some big money – he exclaimed! It sure is! Priceless!
Thank you Ashley and thank you Clairey for sharing this wonderful story. I love the 3rd step prayer too! Sending many hugs!
Love y’all! (<< you like that?! Lol!)
HA! Y’all! I just told Ashley yesterday all of my gifts from blogging! You were on that list Miss Maggie! She’s the best! Meeting Ashley was yet another God shot in my world!
Parenting with principals (hey that’s a good blog name!) is absolutely the best! So grateful to have friends walk before me & show me the way!
Hugs & Love
Hi Maggie. Thanks for reading it. Raising families in sobriety really is the most amazing thing ever. An unexpected blessing I never knew I wanted til after I got it. 🙂
Clairey thanks. That actually is pretty good blog title. 🙂
What a wonderful tag team here…ha ha. Thank you Clairey for introducing Ashley to us via your blog. I have missed seeing you Clairey – so very happy to see you!
And Ashley – thank you for sharing about the idea of raising children in a spiritual principal-based environment…that is, living life through the trads and steps of the program. I can’t say that I am perfect in that category! But I do my best with our two little boys as well – teach them empathy, honesty, open-mindedness, etc. Daily prayer (we’re not religious – but we do go to a Buddhist temple, mosque and church sometimes) and certainly making amends is part of our climate. It’s wonderful to see them grow into that kind of mindset – leading with their hearts.
I say the 3rd step prayer daily upon awakening – I also love the prayer of abandonment by Foucald, which is very similar:
Father,
I abandon myself into your hands; do with me what you will.
Whatever you may do, I thank you:
I am ready for all, I accept all.
Let only your will be done in me, and in all your creatures.
I wish no more than this, O Lord.
Into your hands I commend my soul;
I offer it to you
with all the love of my heart,
for I love you, Lord,
and so need to give myself,
to surrender myself into your hands,
without reserve,
and with boundless confidence,
for you are my Father.
Thanks again for this wonderful post!
Blessings,
Paul
You’re the best Paul! I’ve never heard that prayer before. Cool! I’m not religious either. Spiritual fo sho!
Glad you enjoyed my friend Ashley’s post! She is quite the example in ALL areas!!
Hugs-
Clairey
Thanks Paul. That was a pretty awesome prayer.
I am an unconventional Christian. So many different types of prayers swirl around in my brain.
Thanks again for reading.
Ashley
Nice post. I learn something totally new and challenging
on blogs I stumbleupon on a daily basis. It will always be useful to
read content from other writers and practice something from other web sites.
Thank you! KNowledge is power and the openness and willingness to learn and try from others experiences has helped me so much!