High on Hugs

Living, Loving, & Laughing at Life in Recovery

  • About
  • Experience, Strength & Hope
  • Gaining “Clairey-T”
  • Poems
  • Pavillon Alumni Posts
  • Contact

Pay Attention

April 8, 2015 By Clairey @ High on Hugs Leave a Comment

Yesterday was my first day pain-free and I felt like a human. Spiritually, mentally, physically, and even visually. This whole process of having a miscarriage has been tough in all aspects. I realize this isn’t a subject most speak of. I also am grateful that I am who I am because I’ve apparently helped a few by sharing my story. Yesterday I was just so happy to feel like me again.

Then it dawned on me. Yesterday, April 7th was my due date for our son Tanner. My happy, healthy, love of my life, almost 3-year-old boy!

Waiting for our miracle

Waiting for our miracle

You see for me, one of the greatest gifts is awareness. I would miss so much, so many daily miracles, blessings, and moments of gratitude if I don’t just get out of my own way, stop, and pay attention. It is really easy for me to feel sorry for myself and focus on the negative. I am notoriously a classic victim in my own mind. But!… If I slow this overactive brain of mine down, take a few deep breaths, and listen, watch, feel, be open, be willing, and admit there is something so much bigger than me out there…I just get smacked in the face with all the good shit in life. You know, the really really good shit that just makes you smile, your heart skip a beat, that feeling of overwhelming peace and serenity that engulf your being. That is when I find my happy place. That place where I am content in the moment. No sweating the past, no regrets. No anxious moments of the what ifs, future tripping, and filing myself with worry. That is when I am what the Great Spirit, God, The Universe, Mother Mature and the rest of the gang intended me to be. That Clairey is what I’ve spent days, months, years searching for. The happy, content, authentic Clairey.

Just living in love

Just living in love

So today, if you are anything like me and so busy, so wrapped up in a the day has ahead, all the insignificant bullshit really….STOP! Stop and take a deep breath! Stop and just be! Stop and pay attention, there is always gratitude to be found. ALWAYS! We just have to have the willingness to be aware! You will see it, you will find it…I promise. And when you do, all will be right. If only for a brief moment. But without those moments, I would not survive. Quite frankly, without those moments I don’t think any of us would.

So in the words of my sponsor, my friend, and a truly wise woman who I love with all my being, “pay the fuck attention people!”

You might just need that moment to make “it” all better.

Live-Love-Laugh-And HUG a lot. Life will take on new meaning.

The present is the gift

The present is the gift

Share:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • More
  • Print
  • Reddit
  • Share on Tumblr
  • Pocket

Like this:

Like Loading...

Filed Under: Gaining "Clairey-T", Uncategorized Tagged With: awareness, god, Higher Power, hope, loss, love, motherhood, serenity

Finding God’s Grace through loss and heartache

April 4, 2015 By Clairey @ High on Hugs 6 Comments

It has been sometime since I’ve sat down and written. It is a great tool for me to process things and hopefully help someone along the way. Since I wrote last I’ve celebrated 7 years of recovery. I started making my handmade jewelry again and started a shop, check it out! Jewelry By Sassy! My relationship with my husband has grown and I love him more than ever. My son is almost 3 years old and I love everything about being his mom. We’ve had grand adventures as a family and shared lots of love and laughter.  I was pondering the other day over all I’ve gone through in the past 7 years in recovery. The most memorable years I’ve had!! (Laughing out loud on that statement.) I’ve also had some of the toughest situations and struggles I would have just preferred not to. Those times where using briefly popped in my head as a solution. The feelings I was having at the time I certainly did not want to feel.  And all those times I found the willingness to not pick up! To pick up a phone instead, to play the tape all the way through, to go to a meeting, to pray, meditate, call my sponsor, read some recovery literature, ask for help, and so on.

"To thine own self be true"

“To thine own self be true”

[Read more…]

Share:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • More
  • Print
  • Reddit
  • Share on Tumblr
  • Pocket

Like this:

Like Loading...

Filed Under: Experience, Strength & Hope, Gaining "Clairey-T" Tagged With: god's grace, hope, loss, love, miscarriage, recovery

profile pic

Clairey Sasser Grubbs

  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn

Recovery Blog Friends

  • Sobriety Unplugged
  • Message in a Bottle
  • The Miracle is Around the Corner
  • Sober Courage

Sober Creations

  • Jewelry by Sassy
  • Jewelry By Sassy Etsy Shop

Treatment Centers

  • Pavillon Treatment Center

Recent Post

  • The Struggle & The Hope June 5, 2020
  • Being Reminded September 27, 2019
  • 4,019 days in a row February 4, 2019
  • Closure May 31, 2017
  • Change my biggest fear February 10, 2017

Copyright © 2025 - Log in

%d