This morning, 11 years ago I woke up on a beach in DelRay Beach, FL and quietly started my recovery clock over. The night before I had relapsed on my 90th day clean/sober on a couple of glasses of wine. I didn’t tell a soul and only 2 friends I had gone down to visit from rehab knew about it. I just kept on going as if I didn’t drink that wine. 9 months later I falsely claimed my Year chip in my 12th step group and a few weeks later moved back to Jackson, WY never uttering a word. [Read more…]
Closure
2008 newly sober, one of my last times in SBS, CO, and at my old house.
Change my biggest fear
No one really likes change. Whether it is a physical change within their life or an emotional change in their psyche, change can oftentimes be a frightening proposition. It requires you to give up something that is comfortable and familiar, even if it’s unhealthy for you, and requires you to put your faith in the unknown. Change asks you to move forward into something that may not be clear just yet and because of this we often times try to block change, or try to control how it comes about… [Read more…]
Secrets…
November 6th, 2007 I checked myself into the Pavillon. The next 6 weeks were an emotional roller coaster spent crying, arguing, laughing, bartering, being mad, being in moments of denial and regret, having moments of “Clairey-ty”, and learning about my disease and who I am without drugs in my system. [Read more…]