This morning, 11 years ago I woke up on a beach in DelRay Beach, FL and quietly started my recovery clock over. The night before I had relapsed on my 90th day clean/sober on a couple of glasses of wine. I didn’t tell a soul and only 2 friends I had gone down to visit from rehab knew about it. I just kept on going as if I didn’t drink that wine. 9 months later I falsely claimed my Year chip in my 12th step group and a few weeks later moved back to Jackson, WY never uttering a word. [Read more…]
Resentment is the number one offender
“Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.” – Nelson Mandela
How many hours, days, weeks, months, even years, yes years have I squandered away carrying resentments? I am embarrassed to even guess. Often in my active addiction I would drink or use AT people. That wasn’t very effective. [Read more…]
A friend of mine shared a meme which read,
“Dear God, I want to take a minute not to ask for anything from you, but to simply say, Thank you for all I have.” [Read more…]
Yesterday after my noon meeting I headed to therapy. I absolutely adore my therapist, by the way. I went through 3 different therapist after my longtime therapist left and I’m so glad I did because I love this lady! When we first started getting to know one another she asked me why was I still coming after all these years and still sober and doing 12 step meetings as well. My reply was quite simple and I basically told her I felt therapy was another great tool for me to utilize and there’s always something I want to learn, grow, expand on about myself as an individual.
A sober sister of mine asked me a few years back, “who is Clairey” of course I responded with a daughter, sister, friend, wife, mother. She then said,” who is Clairey without all the titles?” I had no reply.
So this was my therapeutic goal to be set. My therapist and I put it in black and white and I see her almost every week. I was sharing with her some realizations I’ve had and some goals I’d like to somehow put into action. A few things that really make me happy and I enjoy greatly. After sharing this with her she asked me, “what do all those things have in common?”
My reply was, “Me!?!”
I was most definitely pleased with my response but it was not the response she was looking for and asked me again.
“What do all of these things have in common?”
Starring blankly at her I asked,”what?” She said they all involve helping others! Well, gosh darn it she was right.
To be continued….
Everyone can be great because everyone can serve
~ Martin Luther King Jr.
A War in our Hearts
A few weeks ago I shared a video I had seen on my High on Hugs Facebook page.
It was an interview with Mathew Perry. In my opinion he did an excellent job of describing the disease of addiction/alcoholism.
He was in quite the heated debate with a fellow named Peter Hitchens.
I will not give you my personal opinion on the Hitchens fellow. My parents told me if I don’t have anything nice to say, I probably shouldn’t say ‘it’ at all! That being said, I’ll let you all form your own opinion of the douche bag. OOPS!
The video had me enraged to say the least. I feel any of you reading this who are or have been in active addiction would agree as well. Here is the link to the debate ► 11:31► 11:31 www.youtube.com/w… Dec 16, 2013
Shortly after sharing the video I received a letter from a friend and veteran who gave me permission to share it anonymously.